is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
