so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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