What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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