fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Tell her she can't have a vagina
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
