Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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