Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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