not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
