that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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