I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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