my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
