i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
