I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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