I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
