there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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