Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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