at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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