Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
