I just saw a hot homeless man
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
