Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize
