It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
