So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
