A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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