She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
