chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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