shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You made out with two different species that night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
