She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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