Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
