you're like a bully in the Christmas story
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
