The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
