Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
