I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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