i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
