Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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