Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
