I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
