i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
