Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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