Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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