Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
