can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
