last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
