Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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