return my video game
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
