girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
