OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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