I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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