Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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