I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
