I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
