Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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